Emerge A New Part Of Me

Emerge A New Part Of Me

By Shelly Bond

For feeling is the only way

Thinking makes it invisible

Feeling something so big

In my heart I embrace it

Without eyes I see it

Wetness caresses my tongue

I embody what I want

When I blink it’s gone

Somber stillness fills my veins

When I breathe, it comes back

My birthright to believe is still alive

Failure pushes me in

Sinking down

Swimming up

Drowning deeper and deeper in rejection

Sink or swim

Chest tight, nothing to grasp

I feel it stinging me awake

Slow and steady I rise

Out emerges a new part of me


I give up

I breathe again it is a part of who I am 

This part of me who burns 

This part who urns to do nothing else 

Than what I see in the sky of my mind

What lights me up on the insides

Can no longer contain

From one moment to the next

From this breath to that breath

One step two step,

Skip, hop, run, sprint faster and faster

There is no more air

Stillness, slowness

It’s okay

In my heart I embrace it

Without eyes I see it

 Wetness caresses my tongue

For patience and persistence is all I have

I must trust this is the way

This is the journey to what I want

Knowingness guides me from one moment to the next

To dream isn’t for the weak-hearted

For seeing the unseen is the only way

Where is all of the toilet paper?

The Toilet Paper Epidemic of 2020…Here we go…
To My Sisters,
When the world is crumbling with fear, what do we do? Do we follow, do we frantically stock our pantries, and search for nonexistent toilet paper, I mean even amazon is sold out. Here my family of five is with two rolls and counting. At this rate, it will last us a few days and then we will be toilet paper less. I did find some baby wipes though. We are being resourceful. With this panic and fear flooding the world of getting the coronavirus it is taking precedence over our everyday life. I say no we don’t follow the fear, we rise above. We create a change here and now.
This is what the fear mongers and our inner critique has been waiting for, an excuse to panic. A reason to spread negativity, and more fear. But my sister how does it feel in your heart? Bad. There are moments where I feel free and clear, where I can show up in the small moments sitting with my kids. Watching them play, and just be as life was before this all happened. Yes their spring break has extended, yes there is talk of school being closed further. Yes we are stuck with our kids. They have worked so hard all year, they deserve this break. Even if we are with them 24/7 for who knows how long, we can get through this. Maybe remote learning is going to be a thing. We can do this mamas.

How does the fear feel in your head? Good. The voice inside of all of our heads loves this, the inner critique wants something to talk about. It is up to us to lead with our heads or follow our hearts. There always has been a choice, this is no different. Yes we can be prepared and grab some extra food when we are at the store, it can come from a place of love instead of fear.

Life may still feel the same for some, okay here and now today it’s much different. We might be allowing everyone else and the frenzy of energy to take us over. Maybe the fear is taking us over, if it is its okay. You are not alone here. Experiences like this trigger our past pain and bring it out in big ways. In ways of overwhelm, panic and fear.

The world is feeling different, the collective conscious has shifted in big ways. Yes there are some big time things happening. Big companies, schools, countries and producers are being shut down, forced to work remotely. Yes we are out of toilet paper, there is no more toilet paper, the shelves are bare, they are out of stock. We can choose to allow this fear to dominate us and panic with them, we can allow the pains of our past to haunt us. Or we can notice the toilet paper hoarders are filled with mass amounts of fear, we know they have a lot of pain. The toilet paper is simply a mask. Being in control of how much toilet paper they have makes them feel safe and in control. “If there is no toilet paper for months at least I am covered.” The loss of toilet paper is an incredible metaphor for us all. 

We can send each other love and compassion and know we all have pain, this is a way of expressing it publicly.
As a society it’s sad, as a mom its sad, as a sister its sad, as a friend its sad, and as a wife its hard. I know it’s really happening. Being human is hard, we are doing hard things. I know most of us have never experienced anything like this in our life times. Yet it is here, this is what is happening in our world and no we don’t have to ignore it. But the more we can show up and be present in our lives, the more we love and honor our pain and the pain of others we can help regulate the mass fear.

This is a test from the universe and it’s showing us life is never “normal.” Yet we are resourceful creatures, the saying if there is a will there is a way is massively true today. We can help each other by slowing down, by returning to as “normal” or a life we had before all of this began. Or knowing our world has changed, just like the seasons. It was in the seventies this week and as I sit here writing there is snow on the ground and freezing air every day is different. Just like you and me, we are different everyday no matter if there is a hysteria happening or not. Every day we can show up, if we are subject to news, or hear of closures, or quarantines or whatever it maybe know this is a way of keeping us and our families protected. It doesn’t have to equal more fear. Together we can give love and be prepared in healthy ways.

So yes maybe plan on having some extra food, in a way that feels good. Being prepared can be helpful. If I decided last week to grab toilet paper when I heard about it instead of laugh at the sounds, my family and I would be in a different boat. but now we are exploring a new land of personal hygiene. Thank you water!

My Sister I love you, I send you a warm hug. My sister take time for you today, take time to slow down and breath 20 breaths, say a healing prayer for yourself and the world, honor your pain, move your body, journal how you are feeling, practice yoga, take a walk, drink your favorite tea or coffee drink, give yourself a hug. Take a bath. Talk to someone, be mindful of your words, remember what we put out comes back to us. This is a law of attraction. My sister be compassionate of yourself, you know how you are to those you love.

And if you are like me and are almost out of toilet paper, it’s going to be okay. If worse comes to worst we can wash our butts in the shower, we can get a bidet, we can use rags and like when I had babies in cloth diapers spray the poop away and wash in the washing machine. There are ways around this toilet paper frenzy. We can do this, get creative!
I love you my sisters, I know together we can rise above this. We can return to love with a knowingness the universe is only giving us what we can take, even when it doesn’t feel like it. We can do this, together, we are human. There is pain, and there is fear, its okay to feel however you are feeling. Mostly you are not alone, we are all in this together. Rise above my sisters, from my heart and deep within my soul I wish you love, healing and self compassion. 
With love,

One Last Trick

Hello Friends! I have decide to come out from behind the towers of moving boxes, take a break from scrubbing baseboards. I have the perfect excuse to write and make myself be creative! I can’t hold back my excitement any longer because it’s Susanna Leonard Hill’s 6th annual Halloweensie contest, finally! Last year was my first year entering this short story contest and it was a hoot! So I decided to join the festivities once again.

In this writing contest the story must geared towards young readers, mine is for 3-7 year olds hence the name Halloweensie!(A fun play on Halloween). The story can be spooky, it can be silly, it can be anything in between, but it must be clear it is on Halloween and it must be 100 words or less! Only 100 words people! It has been quite tricky and so fun! I had a blast writing and re-writing stories for this contest. Happy fall, Happy Halloween, happy pumpkin patching, happy costume hunting, happy treat eating, happy happy everything! I hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing! Wish me luck!

One Last Trick (100 word count)


Shelly Bond

“Drink my witches brew and funny things will happen to you.” A black hat wearing

Brazelda cackled to a bat.

Under the moon, Bat gulped every last drop. Magically, Bat poofed into a child on

Halloween night.

“Now go!” Brazelda ghostly commanded.

“Trick-or-treat.” Bat fooled humans in a spider costume.

House by house, treats grew in Bat’s bag. Bat had a trick of his own.

Brazelda reappeared.

“Now shriek with delight into the night!” Poof! Bat was a bat.

Suddenly Brazeld snatched the bag full of rocks and flew off.

“One last trick.” Bat smirked as he devoured his treats.