Where is all of the toilet paper?

To My Sisters,

When the world is crumbling with fear, what do we do? Do we follow, do we frantically stock our pantries, and search for nonexistent toilet paper, I mean even amazon is sold out. Here my family of five is with two rolls and counting. At this rate, it will last us a few days and then we will be toilet paper less. I did find some baby wipes though. We are being resourceful. With this panic and fear flooding the world of getting the coronavirus it is taking precedence over our everyday life. I say no we don’t follow the fear, we rise above. We create a change here and now.


This is what the fear mongers and our inner critique has been waiting for, an excuse to panic. A reason to spread negativity, and more fear. But my sister how does it feel in your heart? Bad. There are moments where I feel free and clear, where I can show up in the small moments sitting with my kids. Watching them play, and just be as life was before this all happened. Yes their spring break has extended, yes there is talk of school being closed further. Yes we are stuck with our kids. They have worked so hard all year, they deserve this break. Even if we are with them 24/7 for who knows how long, we can get through this. Maybe remote learning is going to be a thing. We can do this mamas.

How does the fear feel in your head? Good. The voice inside of all of our heads loves this, the inner critique wants something to talk about. It is up to us to lead with our heads or follow our hearts. There always has been a choice, this is no different. Yes we can be prepared and grab some extra food when we are at the store, it can come from a place of love instead of fear.

Life may still feel the same for some, okay here and now today it’s much different. We might be allowing everyone else and the frenzie of energy to take us over. Maybe the fear is taking us over, if it is its okay. You are not alone here. Experiences like this trigger our past pain and bring it out in big ways. In ways of overwhelm, panic and fear.

The world is feeling different, the collective conscious has shifted in big ways. Yes there are some big time things happening. Big companies, schools, countries and producers are being shut down, forced to work remotely. Yes we are out of toilet paper, there is no more toilet paper, the shelves are bare, they are out of stock. We can choose to allow this fear to dominate us and panic with them, we can allow the pains of our past to haunt us. Or we can notice the toilet paper hoarders are filled with mass amounts of fear, we know they have a lot of pain. The toilet paper is simply a mask. Being in control of how much toilet paper they have makes them feel safe and in control. “If there is no toilet paper for months at least I am covered.” The loss of toilet paper is an incredible metaphor for us all. We can send each other love and compassion and know we all have pain, this is a way of expressing it publicly.

As a society it’s sad, as a mom its sad, as a sister its sad, as a friend its sad, and as a wife its hard. I know it’s really happening. Being human is hard, we are doing hard things. I know most of us have never experienced anything like this in our life times. Yet it is here, this is what is happening in our world and no we don’t have to ignore it. But the more we can show up and be present in our lives, the more we love and honor our pain and the pain of others we can help regulate the mass fear.

This is a test from the universe and it’s showing us life is never “normal.” Yet we are resourceful creatures, the saying if there is a will there is a way is massively true today. We can help each other by slowing down, by returning to as “normal” or a life we had before all of this began. Or knowing our world has changed, just like the seasons. It was in the seventies this week and as I sit here writing there is snow on the ground and freezing air every day is different. Just like you and me, we are different everyday no matter if there is a hysteria happening or not. Every day we can show up, if we are subject to news, or hear of closures, or quarantines or whatever it maybe know this is a way of keeping us and our families protected. It doesn’t have to equal more fear. Together we can give love and be prepared in healthy ways.

So yes maybe plan on having some extra food, in a way that feels good. Being prepared can be helpful. If I decided last week to grab toilet paper when I heard about it instead of laugh at the sounds, my family and I would be in a different boat. but now we are exploring a new land of personal hygiene. Thank you water!

My Sister I love you, I send you a warm hug. My sister take time for you today, take time to slow down and breath 20 breaths, say a healing prayer for yourself and the world, honor your pain, move your body, journal how you are feeling, practice yoga, take a walk, drink your favorite tea or coffee drink, give yourself a hug. Take a bath. Talk to someone, be mindful of your words, remember what we put out comes back to us. This is a law of attraction. My sister be compassionate of yourself, you know how you are to those you love.

And if you are like me and are almost out of toilet paper, it’s going to be okay. If worse comes to worst we can wash our butts in the shower, we can get a bidet, we can use rags and like when I had babies in cloth diapers spray the poop away and wash in the washing machine. There are ways around this toilet paper frenzy. We can do this, get creative!

I love you my sisters, I know together we can rise above this. We can return to love with a knowingness the universe is only giving us what we can take, even when it doesn’t feel like it. We can do this, together, we are human. There is pain, and there is fear, its okay to feel however you are feeling. Mostly you are not alone, we are all in this together. Rise above my sisters, from my heart and deep within my soul I wish you love, healing and self compassion. 

With love,


My Drawing Journey!





Hello Friends!

Here I am another week later, another week stronger and more determined to change to world through my art and words. I have make it more than halfway through my new favorite self teaching book DRAWING ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN 4th edition by Betty Edwards. I have came to some big time challenges and break through with this book. Making me really second guess myself and my knowledge of what art is. Until this book I was so intimidated by drawing most everything that wasn’t a cutesy little cartoon image I came up with. Hands were frustrating, understanding how to correctly draw a room was even more so. Until now that was. : )

This book is life changing! I can feel myself shifting from left brain mode to right brain mode. It is a game changer. Try to see if you can feel the shift with the Vases/Faces illusion made famous in 1915 by a Danish psychologist Edgar Rubin.


In this image you might find yourself asking what you are looking for? If you really focus in black you will see two facing profiles and if you make the shift you will see in white a curvy vase. Mind boggling isn’t it? If you are up for an even bigger challence grab a clean piece of paper and #2 pencil and try drawing this picture. If you are right handed draw the left side and if your are left handed draw the right side. Use your hand or a piece of paper to cover the opposite and copy the lines exactly as you see them. Next draw horizontal lines across the top and bottom forming the shape of the vase. Now move the the other side. This is where a little confusion might ring in. Now in proportion draw the other side of the face naming all of the parts. Forehead, eye, nose, space between nose chin. About half way down you might find yourself in more confusion. So you were told to create a face out of a vase. Sounds impossible. When you are finished shade in the facing profiles and look intently at the faces and now at the vase. Now you have got it! Your brilliant mind is making the shift between right and left mode. Can you feel it? And it wasn’t as intimidating if you can slow down and break down the lines and see how the shapes curve and move.

This is one of several activities/lessons brought to blow your mind and make you more aware to the lines of the world. I never would have thought I could learn this much at my age. My lesson is never put limitations on ourselves. Books are a necessity to being the best version of ourselves. I spent under $15 ( I found this book on Amazon and it was on my doorstep in two days!) on what I could imagine being a several thousand dollar art class. In the last two weeks I have grown so much as a person, an artist, a writer, even as a mother. I am looking at everything in a whole new way. The world is a bunch of lines and shapes and there is so much light and darkness and feeling to everything. Bonus I am seeing results and expanding my art portfolio!

Here are some of my new works! A chair, to the viewer you may think oh that’s a nice looking chair. But to the artist, wow! The negative space, the shapes the curves so much to it. Have you ever actually sat down and tried to draw a chair that looks real? Look at the negative spaces between the legs and the back of the chair? I never had before. It was challenging even with the instruction. There was so much to it, I can’t believe I drew this, and now I can draw furniture that looks real!

This lesson was so far was my toughest challenge, I must have drawn on my picture plane at least sixteen times. And no exaggeration there. I sat on my kitchen floor with crumpled up upon crumpled up saran wrap balls. I was sweating, I was swearing, I was second guessing if I could even do it. I was second guessing the lesson. My brain was going back and fourth from left to right mode. My eyes were losing focus. And then I had a breakthrough after my border lint panic attack I began seeing. I began really looking at the chair and I started really drawing everything that I was seeing. After the toil there was light and relief! The exercise said to give yourself one hour and this took me a little over three hours over a two day span. Of course having three children uninterrupted time and with my melt downs combined with theirs I would say three hours was not too shabby! : ) So after everything here is what I drew with love and frustrations and growing in mind!

Wooden chair.

Chair drawing

My hand holding an eraser.

hand drawing

My hallway done from a one point perspective.

one point perspective

My living room from a two point perspective.

2 point perspective living room


I hope you all will be inspired to see the world in it’s beauty of lines, shapes colors, darkness and lightness. I inspire you to find books bring daily enjoyment and challenges to your life. Find hidden talents that might not be as much talent as they are a learned and taught skill. Look around your house you see it every day, but are you really looking? And look at the people around you, are you really seeing them? Look into their eyes and see the light beam across, the freckle on their cheek, the pink in their cheeks. Look at the wrinkles in your hand and all of the lines following they are beautiful. Until next time friends!

June finished Portfolio

These Are The Things That Make Me HAPPY!




“The secret to happiness is freedom

and the secret to freedom is courage.”

-Bob Proctor

“So live courageously and love the life you live everyday!”

-Yours truly


Hello Friends!

Today I wanted to share the things that bring me happiness everyday. And something I have heard at least three times in the last couple of weeks is staying true to my heart. In this case pertaining to my writing. If I don’t feel it deep down, it will never have meaning and without true meaning I can not help people.

With that said I am going to be focusing on things from my heart. Some days are filled with things I used to let hinder me, I decided a few months back to change my train of thought. I flipped and turn my stressors into happy times. Of course I am a human and I have my moments but it has been working wonders in my home. So here is a list of things that are true to my heart, bringing me happiness everyday.

Waking up at 5am, to a dark and quiet house

Writing, drawing, reading in a quiet house. Staying true to my heart and feelings of the day.

Getting my sweat on and moving my body. I have been hooked on these Youtube workouts lately they are called Blender Fitness and have been getting me into shape big time! I feel so much more alive after I work out and in return I feel happier too!

Hearing feet coming down the stairs, and sleepy children rubbing their eyes not quite ready to be awake. Since mom is awake they must too. And it’s ok!

Morning and night-time snuggles and kisses are always a favorite.

Water and lots and lots of it!

Reading children’s books to myself even better to my children and watching their little expressions.

Writing for any reason, freeing my mind and my soul.

Learning how to write better!(Fire, fire, flicker light, fire burning throughout the night!)

Chocolate in the afternoon, even better. Evening tea drinks and chocolate bars with my love, Rex. Sitting next to him holding hands. Getting butterflies when he makes me feel complete. Brushing his hair off of his forehead with my fingers. Butterfly moments!

Making up characters in my head and drawing pictures of them.

To the Zoo Biddy Bia_0001-page-003

Learning how to draw better! YouTube videos are amazing just for this.

Hot Tea, and getting to drink it hot. Coffee drinks with my sisters.

Studying and researching. It is funny all of the time I was in school I pretty much hated it. Now I find myself loving to study. I love reading and learning new things. I sometimes test myself to make sure I remember what I have read. My brain is an amazing sponge these days. I am so grateful for this!

Carrots with cinnamon cashew butter!(Saigon cinnamon is the best) Yummy my favorite!

Writing on this blog, there is something freeing about it. I feel I can be myself without fear of judgment. I love being able to write whatever is on my mind.

Smiles, scrunchie faces, grinding teeth, booger faces, screaming fits.


My almost two-year old eating dog poop and then slipping in it : ) Extra happy moment!

Shopping with three children, three five gallon water jugs to fill and a cart full of groceries. My super mom moment. Jack on my front pack. June and Milo filling up the first two jugs and me power lifting each full judge into the cart with a 28LB boy on my front. That deserves a golden star if you ask me! Quite the wonder woman moment. This was yesterday and I succeeded the job with lots of patients. I returned home and did not forget one thing from my list. Yes I even impressed myself. I am pretty sure I gave myself a mental high-five.

Mornings with my sisters in a house filled with children, messes, noises and poopy diapers.

I could keep this list going for another three pages but I am sure you are catching my drift. Let us all turn our not so happy moments into happy moments. Enjoy what we have and work at making it better. Lots and lots of love to each and every one of you who take the time to read my blog and giving me a happy adrenaline rush. A high of self-worth that I am doing this. I am living my life, I am being my best self, I am writing despite rejections. I am taking advice and rewriting. I am not giving up, I have even more of a reason to strive to be better because I have courage and love in my heart. I know I can do it day by day. And so can you. Challenge yourself today and for the rest of this month. When you feel you are going to lose your mind at an uncomfortable or unexpected situation. Stop take a breath maybe even smile and look at it from a different perspective. An don’t forget to listen to your heart, don’t ever ignore what lies within you. With all of my love. Until next time my friends!

To the Zoo Biddy Bia_0001-page-011















Falling Down Bridal Veil Falls


Hello Friends,

I wanted to share a life experience with you all. It happened when I was 23, almost ten years ago, it is a pretty amazing story and can’t believe it actually happened to me. Here it goes!

There my husband, Rex and I were with the cool splash of the mountain breeze at the base of Bridal Veil falls. With my new hiking boots we went off trail and began hiking up the face of the falls. Closer and closer our boots moved to the four tiered falls. I began moving faster and faster. As my feet were almost running an image of me sitting next to the falls framed and hung on my wall was all my mind could see. The same moment my new hiking boot stepped on that slippery, moss covered rock  I heard Rex’s voice. “Don’t step on that rock!” His words were moments too late.  I could hear his voice echoing through the mountain air.

I lost my footing, I was immediately sucked into the three tiered raging waterfall. I felt as if I were dreaming. My body somehow was flipped around with no chance for realization or pain. Facing the sky I was pushed off of the first tier, it felt as if I were on an amusement park ride.

There was no chance for fear, nothing to grab onto, nothing to stop me from flying again. It almost felt exhilarating, it was happening so quickly. I was leaping feet into the air again and again before I had any chance to react.

Again I was hurtled into the air. I gasped for a breath.

Moments later I was by some small miracle shoved to the side of the last drop of the falls. One more swift move and I would have been hurtled to my death down the 120 foot drop to the base of Bridal Veil falls. There I was off to the side, submerged in rapid icy waters covering my legs almost to my breasts. I began to come to and realize what had happened. I looked up, I scanned from side to side. Straight ahead of me was a ledge where the water was smooth and calm. I looked down to my legs they were a scratched up bloody mess, my shin had formed some scary looking knob.

I took a deep breath. To my right was a raging waterfall trying every bit to push me down.

Freezing and slightly in shock I began planning in my head. I was going to scooch with my hands and butt away from the rapid waters. I was going to the calm ledge where I could safely cross to the other side. When suddenly the familiar sounds of my husbands voice echoed in my ears. What was beneath that calm ledge was a 120 foot drop that would have surely pummeled me to my sudden death.

I was already moving my body forward. “Stay where you are.” Rex nervously yet firmly shouted. I began to shiver and trusted every word he said. He ripped off his backpack and carabiner, untied his sweater from his waist. Quickly and efficiently he made a long rope. He tied and tied. He did not let me out of his sight.

There he towered high above me and what seemed miles away. On the opposite side of the raging falls he stood strong and determined.

“Grab a hold of this!” He flung his home made rope at me, I could not reach it. He flung it harder and faster it finally reached to my hand. I grabbed it and scooched towards to raging fall within one arm’s length from me. The freezing waters pierced my quivering skin. The raging water was trying it hardest to get rid of me. I wouldn’t let it, I was not going to give up.  I finally made it close enough to the other side of the fall.

Rex tried pulling me up, but alas he couldn’t. I tried using my new boots again. I couldn’t. The moss covered, soaking wet rock was much to slippery to get any sort of grip. He tried at least three more times. The water was getting colder and colder and was pushing my body harder and harder. Our adrenalin was in full speed he used every muscle in his body to pull me up. We locked eyes, with his strength and my quivering legs.

He pulled and pulled, I slippery stomped my way up the giant rock. Finally my husband my Love, my hero freed me from the falls. I almost crumbled down the giant rock where we stood. He picked me up and held me.

We both hugged each other as it was our last. We began crying and hugging the words were a blur. I was grateful, scared. He saved me, he saved my life.

WOW! My life lesson on this story is no matter how expensive and shiny your new shoes are we are never invincible. There is a reason there are trails and off trailing is never a good idea. My husband is an amazing man I owe so much to him, thank you for being there with me that day. Mostly thank you for saving my life so we can have our sweet babies and I can live this amazing life of mine!

If you have any life changing stories or moments you would like to share please share. Until next time my Friends!

The Gift of Life

The Gift of Life

“Big results require big ambitions.

Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone

at times, and to endure failure. Persist!

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.


Hello Dear Friends!

I have been on moving hiatus for the last month. Being settled is such a settling feeling. Mostly living and being free to live in my home is so amazing. These are the small things which lead us to the big things in our lives which make it all worthwhile. : ) I am sure you feel the same, to have a home I am ever so grateful for.

I am re reading a powerful book, this might be my fourth read. Each time my eyes are opened to a new perspective. I would like to share with you today the chapter I am reading on our attitude and how it can be our gift to ourselves, our surroundings and mostly the world we live in.

“Nature gave a wonderful gift to most of her little creatures-a gift we call “protective coloring”-so that the deer blends into the forest, the fish into the stream, and the bird into the trees. But from one notable creature was this gift withheld. The human creature stands out like a sore thumb on any sort of terrain.

I believe this is because the human was given a much greater gift: You and I have the  godlike power to make our surroundings change to fit us.”

-Bob Proctor “The ABC’s of SUCCESS”

This chapter goes on speaking of our environment being a direct reflection of us as people. How we as people can change for the better and directly our environment will make these same changes. Well fancy that. This is a wise man.

I wish you a safe, warm, cozy home, you feel free to be yourself so you can be the best you. Until next time friends!

June s Wiggly Hair-page-001

So cozy in her very own room, this is my June.